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| And i've moved to a new blog. www.saylovesaylove.multiply.com And so sorry Aisyah for troubling you to make this blog a few months ago. I miss you sweets! | | |
| And maybe yesterday's post isn't the last one of the year. This is the last post of the year 2008. 2008 is filled with regrets, countless regrets, hell, regrets which i can't even make amends to. Maybe that's why i've become so emotion-less. But 2008 is the year where i realised the truth about life. Everything, my beliefs, smashed, destroyed, crumbled to pieces. Well, i learnt about life the hard way. Though a part of me is still in denial, i'm glad things turn out this way. Trust is overrated. Even friends are overrated.
I've lost lots but gained even more. Relationships with people whom i trust my life with grew, blossomed into something so great that i can't even imagine life without them. Some relationships failed, well, including BG relationships of course but a person like me couldn't care less for guys to look and view them in a romantic way. Why talk about useless and insignificant people in my life? When the sight and thought of them brings hatred and several vulgarities to the tip of my tongue? Hatred fills me, i wish i could take revenge even but deep down inside, i would never damn those insignificant people because then, i'll just be like them. The thought of being like them sickens me so much.
People come and go. Honestly, people who went means less than nothing even if they meant everything to me once. People who have made my dull life shone a little brighter are angels, the sweetest human beings on earth. These people are beyond words, even a hug or a simple thank you seems so little to what they've done. I thought long and hard about this and concluded that there are three people who has influenced me the most but i think the person who has influenced me the most this year is Faisal. See, for once, i don't call you by your nickname. By a long mile, he's the funniest dude i've ever come across. Someone who isn't judgmental, who accepts your flaws and is THE best listening ear. He's seen me in my worst, trust me, and he's always there helping, giving advice and making sure that i'm alright. I keep thanking him throughout two whole years of knowing him and he once said this to me, "Anyone can give advice but it's you who will make the decision." When he said that, it hit me. My admiration for him grew even more. I can't help but say thank you once again. I'm indebted to you and i just thought you should know this.
And the next person is Irsyad. I don't really know what to say. I don't even know where to begin. Just thank you very much for everything. And when i say everything, i mean EVERYTHING. For being patient, for always being there, for helping, for listening, for not judging me and for teaching me things i never knew. I'm sorry for everything. We've had our ups and downs and loads of bittersweet memories. But you should know that yes, you're the best guy i've ever been with. And remember that. I can't be everything that you want me to be but i'll still be here. I'll always love you, small boy.
And lastly, Cassandra. Well well well, my crazy sweetheart. I love you so much that yes, when you die, i'll cry like mad and be so depressed. Satisfied with my answer, sweets? Cheers to a new friendship made. A new friendship which grew stronger day by day. The one who stood by me and who couldn't be more understanding. Even the little things you do like saying "i miss you sweetheart!" makes me smile and grin from ear to ear. Of all people, i want you to be the one who keeps smiling and is forever happy. I'll always remember you and of course, my love for you will grow and grow and grow.
And of course, i haven't forgotten these amazing people either : Annisa, Rachel, Jannah, Afisah, Shaheda, Jun Jie, Yazid, Hawa, Atikah, Shafiq and Iskandar.
And i'll aways love Nasrul, Biah, Kak Fizah, Syafiqah, Kak Deela, Kak Nana, Irfan and Riaz more than anything in the world. And thanks mama and yaya for being the best mothers a 15 year old could ever have.
And when i thought my life really sucks, these people helped me think otherwise. Life is wonderful, isn't it?
Happy New Year everyone. Much love, Aisyah Syaahindah.
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| My laptop crashed. Dead. Bummer.
So, of course, this blog will be dead. Friendster and facebook as well. But i don't even use them in the first place. You'll hardly see me online anymore. I can't watch my Korean shows either. Shit shit shit.
I'm at Woodlands now. And a few hours ago, i bought new shoes. The Adidas sleek series. Got a new Nike cap too. Finally, i'm spending my money. I wanna splurge on more Korean shows and i seriously wanna get How I Met Your Mother DVD series. I think series like HIMYM, Charmed, Monk, O.C, One Tree Hill and Supernatural (!!!) are worth my money and time.
Well, happy advanced new year to everyone i guess? And happy advanced birthday to Rahimah. I miss you babe. I really really really can't wait to get done with secondary school life. My back hurts, my feet hurts from all that walking, my signess is forever pissing the hell out of me, hiccups and fatigue. I don't know how or why but i'm getting weaker as days pass. Falling sick easier, teary eyes almost everyday. Ughh. And my hair colour. Everyone's betting that i'll get caught on the first day of school. They say it's really obvious. I'm still thinking whether i should dye my hair black again.
Oh. I have a new year wish for 2009. I wish and wish with all my might that i'll be "invisible". Go figure.
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| Time's running out. I'm running out of time. And i realised what a fool i've been wasting my holidays, lazing around, spending time either at Tampines or Woodlands. I should have been drilling myself, studying like madddd for O levels. I'm regretting how i spent my holidays, really. I even told my mother to stop working and become a housewife for the whole of next year just to tutor me everyday. HAHA. I'm selfish, aren't i? But of course, i wouldn't let that happen. It was just wishful thinking. So i'm gonna get tuition. For Math, Physics and Accounts. And maybe Chemistry. Which means i can't go out as i wish next year. I'll be really busy the whole of next year. Actually i'm glad that Os are coming, which means i'll be busy studying and not hanging out after school. I really need to get rid of that habit. I'm already starting to read the Malay-English dictionary. Because i can't understand Malay seriously. Obviously, i have to buck up on my Malay which definitely sucks to the core. And i think Malay language and English language are so different. Sumpah means to curse (i checked the dictionary) but sumpah-sumpah means a chameleon. Any relations? None, right? So far off right? All these is stressing me out already. I'm biting my fingernails more, fretting more and thinking too much. I REALLY HAVE A LONG WAY TO GO. **SIGHS | | |
| And yes, as everyone knows, i'm very fickle minded. New song. HAHA. Rain's Love Story. I love Rain. **Bi Bi Bi | | |
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